TransWorld Media

Sexual In-you-endo Handrail

by taj | Aug 23, 2008 |

Note: This is one of those thing that seemed really funny last night at the bar.

A few years ago I wrote about a funny situation that Sandy Carson and I found ourselves in. We were downtown cutting through a dark alleyway when we stumbled upon a brand new fire escape handrail that looked pretty rad to ride. We both stopped at the bottom and checked it out. I said something like, “This thing is pretty stiff, I’m pretty sure you could grind it all the way to the end.” 

Just then a guy backed out from under the staircase right in front of us and he was in the middle of taking a piss. He got kind of freaked out, quick zipped up and took off. I could only imagine how he interpreted what we said. Anyway, last night we thought of 10 more things a BMXer might say about a handrail that would have really freaked out the guy pissing under the stairs.

Poor guy.

10. “I wonder if it would look that big in the daylight?”

9. “Get out the video camera right now, I’m doing this!”

8. “I saw a video where Aaron whipped one just like this. He got a bit sketchy though and cut his knees all up”

7. “Waxing it would help it slide better”

6. “If we do a train on this thing it would be an amazing picture!”

5. “This is Jimmy LeVan’s wet dream!”

4. “I heard that if its cold enough and you lick one, your tongue will freeze to it.” 

3. “Remember that time you cut one of these in half while doing a sprocket stall?”

2. “I have a friend who tried to do one of those and ended up having to wear a catheter, but if you hold it steady I’ll ride down it.”

1. “It sure would suck to hit your face on that… probably give you a nose bleed.”


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